I don’t know my friends’ names

When I first arrived in Kaohsiung and started meeting new people (typically when they’d come up and ask if I was American), I’d sometimes feel mildly anxious about the possibility of being invited around for dinner.

There are many things I don’t eat, and I didn’t want to be difficult or offensive—especially in the homes of acquaintances who might become friends.

But as it turned out, this was a non-issue: I was never invited.¹

Taiwanese apartments are small, and the smallest apartments don’t have kitchens. It’s cheap to eat out, so it’s easy and practical to meet friends off-site.

This has been great for me. I’ve tried a huge variety of dishes at night markets and restaurants, with friends guiding me through menus I might not have explored on my own.

But back to meeting people…

Strangers would often introduce themselves with their English name, or a shortened version of their Chinese name. If we later added each other on LINE—Taiwan’s ubiquitous and essential messaging app—I’d then see a nickname in their profile’s name field.

We never had a reason to share full names, phone numbers, or addresses.

(This is normal. I promise it’s not like people were desperately trying to avoid me.)

Consequently, here in Taiwan—where I’m fortunate to have good friends who are excellent people—I don’t know where they live or how to phone them.

I also don’t know their names.

1. There’s a huge exception to this: One friend’s family has been especially welcoming. I’ve joined them at home for Lunar New Year, and often go to pizza + gaming nights at their apartment. ↩︎︎