I don’t know my friends’ names

When I first arrived in Kaohsiung and started meeting new people (typically when they’d come up and ask if I was American), I’d sometimes feel mildly anxious about the possibility of being invited around for dinner.

There are many things I don’t eat, and I didn’t want to be difficult or offensive—especially in the homes of acquaintances who might become friends.

But as it turned out, this was a non-issue: I was never invited.¹

Taiwanese apartments are small, and the smallest apartments don’t have kitchens. It’s cheap to eat out, so it’s easy and practical to meet friends off-site.

This has been great for me. I’ve tried a huge variety of dishes at night markets and restaurants, with friends guiding me through menus I might not have explored on my own.

But back to meeting people… Strangers would often introduce themselves with their English name, or a shortened version of their Chinese name. If we later added each other on LINE—Taiwan’s ubiquitous and essential messaging app—I’d then see their nickname (or Chinese words I couldn’t read) in their profile’s name field.

We never had a reason to share full names, phone numbers, or addresses.

(This is normal. It’s not like people were desperately trying to avoid me. I hope.)

Consequently, here in Taiwan—where I’m fortunate to have good friends who are excellent people—I don’t know where they live or how to phone them.

I also don’t know their names.

1. There’s a huge exception to this: One friend’s family has been especially welcoming. I’ve joined them at home for Lunar New Year, and often go to pizza + gaming nights at their apartment. ↩︎︎